Breakfast of Champions: Johnsonville Breakfast Sausage in a Butternut Squash, Gouda, and Herb Frittata and a Potato, Squash, and Kale Hash

This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Johnsonville sausages. The opinions, words, thoughts, and ideas are 100% my own. 

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” 

                                                               - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

It turns out all I needed to break my one-year-plus blogging hiatus was an offer of some free sausage. 

Of course, when the folks at Johnsonville Sausage contacted me to find out if I'd like to create a breakfast or brunch recipe featuring their sausages to share here on Tasty Trix I went through an existential crisis and tormented myself for over a month deciding whether I would do it. ... Oh wait, that's the narrative I told myself ... to add drama.  What actually happened was, I said "yes" right away. Given that this would include two things I love - sausages and breakfast/brunch - it wasn't that hard.  And I came up with not one but two recipes for your eating pleasure. 

I should mention that as part of their campaign, Johnsonville wants to encourage parents to create kid-friendly breakfasts and get their kids involved in the kitchen. That's a great goal to be sure, but I am not, never have been, and never plan to be a parent. Cats are the maximum responsibility for another life that I desire. I do, however, have a boyfriend and I think many will agree that it's not entirely different than having a kid in many ways, so don't let my kid-free kitchen stop you from trying this out on yours if you have them - I would have scarfed this up as a child. My boyfriend and I sure did, despite being what you might call grown ups. Technically, anyway. 

The Bee's Knees Cocktail: Velma West, the Hammer Murderess {Macabre Meals & Dastardly Drinks}

In my post about Anna Marie Hahn, aka the Blonde Borgia, I discussed the origins and the rise of the female poisoner as a cultural archetype. And while it is more or less true that poisoners tend to be women, certainly not all murderesses are poisoners. Take Velma West, the Hammer Murderess; or, as newspapers of the time dubbed her, "A 12 O'Clock Girl in a 9 O'Clock Town."

In 1926 - the height of the Prohibition era in the U.S. - the 20-year-old West, nee Velma Van Woert - was working as a shopgirl in Cleveland, Ohio. She became engaged to a much older man, but broke it off abruptly after meeting her future husband, Eddie West, at a picnic. She married Eddie and moved from her beloved Jazz Age city of Cleveland to the small, repressive rural area of Lake County, Ohio.

Things did not go well for her.

The Butcher of Rostov's Last Meal: Serial Killer Supper Series, Part III

Soviet serial killer Andrei Chikatilo - fittingly dubbed the Butcher of Rostov and the Red Ripper - holds the dubious distinction of being one of the most prolific and disgusting mass killers of modern times. To be sure, there are, in the West at least, more famous serial killers - Son of Sam, the Zodiac Killer, Dahmer, Bundy - but in my research I have not come across one who chose his victims with more calculated coldness, or seemed to carry out his crimes with such absolute depraved gusto and complete lack of remorse.

Between 1978  and 1990 he killed over 50 women, boys, and girls. Impotent in his "normal" life, Chikatilo stabbed and often eviscerated his victims, achieving sexual pleasure from their bleeding and dying cries. He sometimes bit or chewed off parts of their faces, and he claimed that he chewed on the uterus of at least one of his victims. He gouged out his early victims' eyes, believing an old folktale that held that the last moments of death were recorded on the retinas of the dead.

The Poisoner's Cake: Serial Killer Supper Series, Part Two ~ the Blonde Borgia

While it is true that serial killers are statistically more likely to be men, women are perfectly capable of racking up an impressive body count, though the killing methods of the two sexes tend to differ. Typically male serial murderers gravitate towards performing violent and bloody atrocities against the (usually female) body; women, in contrast, have historically turned to the comparatively gentle, more hands-off method of poisoning.

Victorian England, in fact,  saw the rise of the woman poisoner as a cultural archetype. After all, poisons such as arsenic were easy to come by and forensic science was not yet adept at detecting such causes of death. To be fair, married women had little or no rights then, and poison often presented the only means out of an abusive marriage. I admit I have a something of a soft spot for women who poisoned out of self-preservation.

Serial Killer Supper Series: Schnitzel, Fried Potatoes, & White Wine; the Last Meal of the Dusseldorf Ripper

In honor of the wondrous, gloomy, and shadowy month of October - temporal home of the year's best holiday, Halloween - I bring you "Serial Killer Suppers," a weekly series in which I will feature a notable meal of a notorious killer. I'm excited, as the series combines two of the things I love most in the world: food and murder. (Say it with me, Hitchcock style: MUH-deh.)

That's not to say I love the actual killers, or their hideous acts, although I do find serial killers to be particularly fascinating. The psychology of multiple murderers, their peculiar and horrible methods, the pleasure, often sexual, they derive from the act of killing, their unstoppable compulsions, their inability to empathize or sympathize with their victims - all of this makes them seem somehow simultaneously less and more than human. After all, notorious killers such as Jack the Ripper or the Zodiac Killer have become more monster than man in the popular imagination, endowed with almost supernatural powers and superhuman prowess.

The Mezze Cristo: Fried Ham & Cheese Sandwich with Creamy Horseradish, Garlic & Capers and a Sweet & Hot Dipping Relish

In general, I am not a huge fan of recipe contests.  All too often lately these things seem to revolve around how adept one is at badgering friends and family for multiple votes rather than actually determining a winner based on quality. I'm not saying the two things can't intersect and result in a deserving winner, but it's certainly not a foregone conclusion. And begging people for votes is pretty high up on my long list of Things I Cannot Stand To Do.

But the  Mezzetta "Make That Sandwich" competition is different from these tedious personality contests. It is actually curated. By people who aren't related to me. Because of this, and because I love sandwiches in a big way, I've decided to enter.

Oh, and also because the grand prize is $25,000. So there's that.

Mental for Lentils: Berbere-Spiced Red Lentils with Yogurt {Another 5:2 Fast Day Dinner}

Just when I start to get smug about how well my 5:2 Diet is going, I go and make a pig's breakfast of it. Indeed, my last "fast day" was nothing short of disastrous.

I don't know what ravenous beast got into me, but before the day was over I had cheated with the following foods: many nibbles of Cotswold cheese, handfuls of wasabi peas, and no fewer than 3 glasses of rose. I had broken my 500 calorie limit before dinner.

White Beans with Rosemary, Tomato Candy, & Roasted Garlic {A 5:2 Diet Dinner}

I generally cannot stand the idea of diets. There's always something you're supposed to cut out forever and ever. Going Paleo? Buh-bye pasta and grains. Doing the Eat to Live thing? No more steak or cheese for you, and I hope you really - and  I mean really  - love beans.

Sorry, dieters, but a life without cheesy pizza and the occasional burger and fries is not what I would consider truly living.

However. One of my many freelance jobs is recipe development. Sometimes these recipes are incredibly fattening, like the feature I am working on right now involving not one but five baked pasta and cheese dishes. Given that I am no Olympic athlete and I don't believe in wasting food, there is no way I could ever do enough exercise to burn off all those carbs without breaking something.

Romesco Sauce with Charred Onions: an Authentic Catalonian Recipe

One of the things I love most about travel is - surprise! - eating, drinking, and tasting a variety of new dishes and flavors. I am especially happy when I get the opportunity to chat with chefs and restaurant owners and, if possible, come away with an authentic recipe or two, as I did with Chef Mike's gnocchi in pumpkin cream in Vienna. 

This recipe for Romesco sauce comes courtesy of Hugo, co-owner of the adorable Gastromaquia in Madrid.

Stuff It! Focaccia Stuffed with Genoa Salami, Provolone, & Olives

The theme for the July Creative Cooking Crew Challenge, hosted as always by the lovely and talented Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks, was simply this: stuff it. As cooking themes go, it doesn't get much more wide open than that.

And so, as you see, I went with bread, and I am so glad I did. It has been ages since I worked with yeasted dough, and I had nearly forgotten how much I love everything about the process: the punky smell of the yeast as it hits the warm water, the way the flour goes from silky to sticky as it gets wet, kneading the dough until it becomes a stretchy, soft, compliant whole, the puffed-up feel of the transformed dough before it's punched down ... it's a tactile, engaging, and meditative activity.

Through a Bowl, Darkly: Garlicky Mussels with Squid Ink Linguine

I was binge watching Hannibal when I got the idea for this dish. I have always been drawn to fiction that intelligently explores the dark side of human nature and the allure of so-called "evil." Visually the show is lush and cinematic, and Mads Mikkelsen, the actor who plays Hannibal, is a brilliantly unsettling mix of charm, charisma, and creepiness.

I must admit that I take a perverse glee in the lovingly detailed shots of Hannibal cooking complicated Escoffier-style meals in his gourmet kitchen, knowing full well that the main course is more than likely composed of one or more of his victims. (Yes, Poppa Trix has told me I'm a bit crazy, but in a good way. He's not worried, so you shouldn't be either.)

Herby Chicken Verde: A Summer Plateful of Green

Color. That is the theme of this month's Creative Cooking Crew challenge, hosted as always by the lovely and talented Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks. That is, color, singular, not plural - as in, participants have been tasked with creating a dish featuring one and only one color as the primary focus.

I had big ideas. I wanted to make a moody and mysterious dish of all black or blood red, inspired by my preoccupation with the brilliant series Hannibal. (My dish, however, unlike Dr. Lecter's creations, would have contained absolutely no human.) Alas, a hectic travel schedule for the first part of June put the kibosh on my plans and so instead I opted for this cheerful green number, complete with a cutesy name: herby chicken verde. My dark Hannibal-inspired dish will just have to wait.

Cool Summer Borscht (Barszcz) from "Polish Classic Recipes"

I fell in love with Polish food when I visited Krakow a few years ago. While there, I ate my weight in sausages, wild boar, Hunter's Stew, zapiekanka (Polish pizza), and, of course, pierogies.

So when I was offered review copies of two new books - Polish Classic Recipes and Polish Classic Desserts, by Laura & Peter Zeranski - of course I accepted. There aren't a ton of good Polish cookbooks on the market - particularly ones with photos of the dishes - and I thought it would be fun to recreate some of my favorite meals from my trip to Poland.

Socca Pizza with Arugula Pea Pesto, Yellow Tomatoes, & Ricotta

I did not invent the concept of the socca flatbread pizza, though I wish I had, because then I could brag about what a genius I am. Alas, the inspiration for my pizza came not in a dream, but in the form of this gorgeous spring pesto flatbread at the Kitchn. In place of the original version's salad and mint pesto topping, I topped my flatbread with an  arugula and pea pesto, yellow heirloom tomatoes, ricotta cheese, pea shoots, and Parmesan.

Steak, Pepper & Goat Cheese Crustless Quiche {Brunch, a Plea}

I made a surprising discovery recently while doing some research for my monthly Style recipe column. The concept of brunch, which I had long supposed to be a uniquely American invention, was in fact first mentioned in print 1895 by British author Guy Beringer in the rather melodramatically-titled article "Brunch, A Plea."

He opined, "Instead of England's early Sunday dinner, a post-church ordeal of heavy meats and savory pies, why not a new meal, served around noon, that starts with tea or coffee, marmalade and other breakfast fixtures before moving along to the heavier fare? By eliminating the need to get up early on Sunday, brunch would make life brighter for Saturday-night carousers."

A man after my own heart, this Guy. Naturally, I heartily approve of supplanting the dreary moralizing activity of churchgoing with the life-affirming pursuit of eating, especially when it's undertaken at a civilized hour, like noon. And then there's his wholehearted approval of Saturday night carousing: no puritanical guilt or whiff of self-flagellation for an evening of indulgence here. A laudably healthy attitude.

Another Cauliflower Risotto Post {It's Just Cooking, After All}

As a professional food writer, food blogger,  and sometime paid cook, I believe people generally expect me to be obsessed with cooking shows in general, and cooking competition shows specifically. And I used to be. Sort of.

My original interest in the genre began before I could fry an egg,  back when I was living in NYC and Bobby Flay had not yet sunk his ginger claws into the Iron Chef franchise. (He was instead busy grilling things and using ancho chiles in everything with Jackie Maloof on Food Network.)

Bangers & Mash-Up: A Meat and Potatoes Challenge

Nothing will shake me out of my blogging doldrums like a good old Creative Cooking Crew challenge. This month's challenge, hosted by the fab Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks! and the lovely Joan of Foodalogue,  was as wide open as it gets: We were tasked with creating a dish around the theme of "meat and potatoes."

So. Where to begin? Well, given that I have been on something of a British television kick lately (particularly BBC Sherlock, but as this is a food blog and not a fangirl's Tumblr I will spare you the details) I decided I would look to the traditional cuisine of the U.K. for ideas.

Chicken, Cabbage, & Cashew Stir Fried Rice

Do you really need me to tell you how to make a simple stir fried rice dish I made for dinner one weeknight?

But what the heck - I'll tell you anyway. After all, as my professional recipe development, food and travel writing, and photography obligations grow (I am neither complaining nor humble-bragging - I unabashedly love it!), I find that I have less and less time to make complicated dishes just for fun. Which is what this blog is supposed to be - fun.

Bucatini in Tomato Saffron Cream with Wild Salmon

Pasta and cream. Not exactly a New Year's resolution friendly dish. But that is kind of my point. I am posting this simply because I feel like it.

Let me back up and explain.

I have noticed an off-putting proscriptive tendency creeping into some food blogging lately. Year-end posts have popped up here and there purporting to be the last word on what food blogging should and should not be, and what we bloggers must and must not do.

As snarky as I know I can be, I find these proclamations - even when they claim to be tongue in cheek - a little too self-congratulatory for their own good.

Blueberry, Bourbon, & Brown Butter Spiced Cakebread: the Un-Fruitcake

Recently, a representative from the U.S. Highbush Blueberry Council saw my recipe for seared duck breast with blueberry sage sauce and invited me to participate in a recipe competition.  The rules? Create an original sweet or savory recipe featuring winter fresh or frozen blueberries. Extra points for twisting up tradition and creating a new classic holiday dish.