Dining with the Doctor: Charles Dickens' Own Christmas Punch for a Doctor Who Regeneration Party

Tick tock goes the clock 

And all the years they fly

Tick tock and all too soon

You and I must die

Tick tock goes the clock 

We laughed at fate and mourned her

Tick tock goes the clock 

Even for the Doctor

(from "Night Terrors") 

All Whovians know the true meaning of Christmas: the annual Doctor Who special. And this is particularly true this year. Not only is 2013 the 50th anniversary of the iconic BBC show, but in this year's special, "The Time of the Doctor," the 11th Doctor, played by Matt Smith, will regenerate into a new one, Peter Capaldi's 12th Doctor.  Now that's a Christmas birth I can get excited about.

The Bee's Knees Cocktail: Velma West, the Hammer Murderess {Macabre Meals & Dastardly Drinks}

In my post about Anna Marie Hahn, aka the Blonde Borgia, I discussed the origins and the rise of the female poisoner as a cultural archetype. And while it is more or less true that poisoners tend to be women, certainly not all murderesses are poisoners. Take Velma West, the Hammer Murderess; or, as newspapers of the time dubbed her, "A 12 O'Clock Girl in a 9 O'Clock Town."

In 1926 - the height of the Prohibition era in the U.S. - the 20-year-old West, nee Velma Van Woert - was working as a shopgirl in Cleveland, Ohio. She became engaged to a much older man, but broke it off abruptly after meeting her future husband, Eddie West, at a picnic. She married Eddie and moved from her beloved Jazz Age city of Cleveland to the small, repressive rural area of Lake County, Ohio.

Things did not go well for her.

Roast Bone Marrow with Parsley Salad {Macabre Meals}

I enjoyed researching, cooking, writing - and of course eating - my October Serial Killer Supper series so very much that I've decided to continue with it indefinitely. And because the space where death, culture, and food intersects is so vast, I'm expanding the category. Under the umbrella of "Macabre Meals" I'll be exploring all sorts of dark and lovely things. Real murderers, fictional killers, history, scandal, myth, and more. It's going to be so much fun!

As luck would have it, this month's Creative Cooking Crew Challenge, hosted by the lovely Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks, has dovetailed nicely with my current preoccupation. The task: Create an appetizer for Thanksgiving, something for guests to enjoy before the main feast.

The Butcher of Rostov's Last Meal: Serial Killer Supper Series, Part III

Soviet serial killer Andrei Chikatilo - fittingly dubbed the Butcher of Rostov and the Red Ripper - holds the dubious distinction of being one of the most prolific and disgusting mass killers of modern times. To be sure, there are, in the West at least, more famous serial killers - Son of Sam, the Zodiac Killer, Dahmer, Bundy - but in my research I have not come across one who chose his victims with more calculated coldness, or seemed to carry out his crimes with such absolute depraved gusto and complete lack of remorse.

Between 1978  and 1990 he killed over 50 women, boys, and girls. Impotent in his "normal" life, Chikatilo stabbed and often eviscerated his victims, achieving sexual pleasure from their bleeding and dying cries. He sometimes bit or chewed off parts of their faces, and he claimed that he chewed on the uterus of at least one of his victims. He gouged out his early victims' eyes, believing an old folktale that held that the last moments of death were recorded on the retinas of the dead.

The Poisoner's Cake: Serial Killer Supper Series, Part Two ~ the Blonde Borgia

While it is true that serial killers are statistically more likely to be men, women are perfectly capable of racking up an impressive body count, though the killing methods of the two sexes tend to differ. Typically male serial murderers gravitate towards performing violent and bloody atrocities against the (usually female) body; women, in contrast, have historically turned to the comparatively gentle, more hands-off method of poisoning.

Victorian England, in fact,  saw the rise of the woman poisoner as a cultural archetype. After all, poisons such as arsenic were easy to come by and forensic science was not yet adept at detecting such causes of death. To be fair, married women had little or no rights then, and poison often presented the only means out of an abusive marriage. I admit I have a something of a soft spot for women who poisoned out of self-preservation.

Serial Killer Supper Series: Schnitzel, Fried Potatoes, & White Wine; the Last Meal of the Dusseldorf Ripper

In honor of the wondrous, gloomy, and shadowy month of October - temporal home of the year's best holiday, Halloween - I bring you "Serial Killer Suppers," a weekly series in which I will feature a notable meal of a notorious killer. I'm excited, as the series combines two of the things I love most in the world: food and murder. (Say it with me, Hitchcock style: MUH-deh.)

That's not to say I love the actual killers, or their hideous acts, although I do find serial killers to be particularly fascinating. The psychology of multiple murderers, their peculiar and horrible methods, the pleasure, often sexual, they derive from the act of killing, their unstoppable compulsions, their inability to empathize or sympathize with their victims - all of this makes them seem somehow simultaneously less and more than human. After all, notorious killers such as Jack the Ripper or the Zodiac Killer have become more monster than man in the popular imagination, endowed with almost supernatural powers and superhuman prowess.

Wild Blueberry & Lemon Love Balls (Astarpungar): An Icelandic Sweet Treat for the NORTH Festival, a Celebration of Nordic Cuisine

This is a sponsored post in collaboration with the upcoming NORTH Festival in New York City. The content is 100% my own. 

In case you missed the memo, I adore Iceland. Reykjavik is an incredible city, and the surrounding countryside is breathtakingly beautiful. I am well aware that I'm incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to visit twice: once for a combination holiday and research trip for an article for Culture magazine, and a second time as part of an impromptu girls' weekend, aka the Hangover, Lady Edition. 

And so when Honest Cooking contacted me to do a post sharing my love of Iceland as part of the upcoming NORTH Festival in New York, I was more than happy to oblige. I was given complete freedom to write about anything I wanted, and naturally I knew my topic would be food.

Two Way Torta: Half Smoky & Half Spicy Shredded Chicken Salad with Jalapeno, Tomato & Avocado

In my last post, I explained my general disdain for popularity contests masquerading as recipe competitions. On a more positive note, however, I expressed my pleasure at having discovered the Mezzetta "Make That Sandwich" contest, as it's curated by food professionals and the prize is the not inconsiderable sum of $25,000.

The Mezze Cristo: Fried Ham & Cheese Sandwich with Creamy Horseradish, Garlic & Capers and a Sweet & Hot Dipping Relish

In general, I am not a huge fan of recipe contests.  All too often lately these things seem to revolve around how adept one is at badgering friends and family for multiple votes rather than actually determining a winner based on quality. I'm not saying the two things can't intersect and result in a deserving winner, but it's certainly not a foregone conclusion. And begging people for votes is pretty high up on my long list of Things I Cannot Stand To Do.

But the  Mezzetta "Make That Sandwich" competition is different from these tedious personality contests. It is actually curated. By people who aren't related to me. Because of this, and because I love sandwiches in a big way, I've decided to enter.

Oh, and also because the grand prize is $25,000. So there's that.

Nopales (Cactus Paddles) Three Ways: Pickled, In Cheesy Quesadillas, & In Spicy Salsa Verde

Use one fruit or vegetable in three different ways - that's the theme of this month's Creative Cooking Crew challenge, hosted as always by the lovely Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks.

This is both a deliciously intriguing and a perplexingly open-ended challenge. Any fruit. Any vegetable. Any three ways. To narrow down the endless choices, I decided I'd make three things that would form a part of one dish. The trick would be to manipulate one ingredient into three components with different, yet complementary, tastes and textures.

Mental for Lentils: Berbere-Spiced Red Lentils with Yogurt {Another 5:2 Fast Day Dinner}

Just when I start to get smug about how well my 5:2 Diet is going, I go and make a pig's breakfast of it. Indeed, my last "fast day" was nothing short of disastrous.

I don't know what ravenous beast got into me, but before the day was over I had cheated with the following foods: many nibbles of Cotswold cheese, handfuls of wasabi peas, and no fewer than 3 glasses of rose. I had broken my 500 calorie limit before dinner.

White Beans with Rosemary, Tomato Candy, & Roasted Garlic {A 5:2 Diet Dinner}

I generally cannot stand the idea of diets. There's always something you're supposed to cut out forever and ever. Going Paleo? Buh-bye pasta and grains. Doing the Eat to Live thing? No more steak or cheese for you, and I hope you really - and  I mean really  - love beans.

Sorry, dieters, but a life without cheesy pizza and the occasional burger and fries is not what I would consider truly living.

However. One of my many freelance jobs is recipe development. Sometimes these recipes are incredibly fattening, like the feature I am working on right now involving not one but five baked pasta and cheese dishes. Given that I am no Olympic athlete and I don't believe in wasting food, there is no way I could ever do enough exercise to burn off all those carbs without breaking something.

Romesco Sauce with Charred Onions: an Authentic Catalonian Recipe

One of the things I love most about travel is - surprise! - eating, drinking, and tasting a variety of new dishes and flavors. I am especially happy when I get the opportunity to chat with chefs and restaurant owners and, if possible, come away with an authentic recipe or two, as I did with Chef Mike's gnocchi in pumpkin cream in Vienna. 

This recipe for Romesco sauce comes courtesy of Hugo, co-owner of the adorable Gastromaquia in Madrid.

Stuff It! Focaccia Stuffed with Genoa Salami, Provolone, & Olives

The theme for the July Creative Cooking Crew Challenge, hosted as always by the lovely and talented Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks, was simply this: stuff it. As cooking themes go, it doesn't get much more wide open than that.

And so, as you see, I went with bread, and I am so glad I did. It has been ages since I worked with yeasted dough, and I had nearly forgotten how much I love everything about the process: the punky smell of the yeast as it hits the warm water, the way the flour goes from silky to sticky as it gets wet, kneading the dough until it becomes a stretchy, soft, compliant whole, the puffed-up feel of the transformed dough before it's punched down ... it's a tactile, engaging, and meditative activity.

Through a Bowl, Darkly: Garlicky Mussels with Squid Ink Linguine

I was binge watching Hannibal when I got the idea for this dish. I have always been drawn to fiction that intelligently explores the dark side of human nature and the allure of so-called "evil." Visually the show is lush and cinematic, and Mads Mikkelsen, the actor who plays Hannibal, is a brilliantly unsettling mix of charm, charisma, and creepiness.

I must admit that I take a perverse glee in the lovingly detailed shots of Hannibal cooking complicated Escoffier-style meals in his gourmet kitchen, knowing full well that the main course is more than likely composed of one or more of his victims. (Yes, Poppa Trix has told me I'm a bit crazy, but in a good way. He's not worried, so you shouldn't be either.)

A Girls' Weekend in Iceland; or, The Hangover, Lady Edition

Thinking peaceful thoughts at a goat farm in the Icelandic countryside

Full of Scotch and taking chaotic selfies on the streets of Reykjavik, 4 am or thereabouts

An Icelander, a Canadian, and an American walk into a bar ...

No, that's not right. Let's start again. How about:

This is the tale of three very smart, somewhat silly, food-loving women and their exhausting, unlikely, and unforgettable weekend in Iceland. Like the ancient Viking sagas, this tale contains feats of strength (drinking large quantities of alcohol),  endurance (staying up all night), and bravery (riding Viking horses over black lava fields). And, like any good epic story, there's a lesson to be learned here: Every now and then, throw your good sense out of the window and do something completely spontaneous and quite possibly ill-advised, whether you can afford to do it or not.

Herby Chicken Verde: A Summer Plateful of Green

Color. That is the theme of this month's Creative Cooking Crew challenge, hosted as always by the lovely and talented Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks. That is, color, singular, not plural - as in, participants have been tasked with creating a dish featuring one and only one color as the primary focus.

I had big ideas. I wanted to make a moody and mysterious dish of all black or blood red, inspired by my preoccupation with the brilliant series Hannibal. (My dish, however, unlike Dr. Lecter's creations, would have contained absolutely no human.) Alas, a hectic travel schedule for the first part of June put the kibosh on my plans and so instead I opted for this cheerful green number, complete with a cutesy name: herby chicken verde. My dark Hannibal-inspired dish will just have to wait.

Cool Summer Borscht (Barszcz) from "Polish Classic Recipes"

I fell in love with Polish food when I visited Krakow a few years ago. While there, I ate my weight in sausages, wild boar, Hunter's Stew, zapiekanka (Polish pizza), and, of course, pierogies.

So when I was offered review copies of two new books - Polish Classic Recipes and Polish Classic Desserts, by Laura & Peter Zeranski - of course I accepted. There aren't a ton of good Polish cookbooks on the market - particularly ones with photos of the dishes - and I thought it would be fun to recreate some of my favorite meals from my trip to Poland.

Socca Pizza with Arugula Pea Pesto, Yellow Tomatoes, & Ricotta

I did not invent the concept of the socca flatbread pizza, though I wish I had, because then I could brag about what a genius I am. Alas, the inspiration for my pizza came not in a dream, but in the form of this gorgeous spring pesto flatbread at the Kitchn. In place of the original version's salad and mint pesto topping, I topped my flatbread with an  arugula and pea pesto, yellow heirloom tomatoes, ricotta cheese, pea shoots, and Parmesan.

Eric Ripert's Clams with Spicy Sausage from The Perfect Protein: The Fish Lover's Guide to Saving the Oceans and Feeding the World

When it comes to the environment, trying to do the right thing can be exhausting. And confusing. So much so, in fact, that I sometimes find myself experiencing what I call "sustainability burnout."

Is this tomato local? Does it matter? (Not always, as it turns out.) Does this beef come from a grass fed cow? Is it okay if it's a cow from California or New York State? Is that organic? Can I recycle this? Are there hormones in that milk? It's enough to make me just give up and subsist on a diet of popcorn. Oh wait ... what if it's genetically modified?

Spiked Strawberry Rhubarb Lemonade

Ah, summer picnics. Humidity, sunburn, flies, mosquitos, ants, warm beer, screaming children, and the threat of listeria in every mayonnaise-soaked bite. When it's a million degrees outside, I would really prefer to eat inside. There's only one way to get through these sweaty ordeals of Americana: drink.

And so this is why, when the theme of this month's Creative Cooking Crew challenge - hosted as ever by the lovely Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks - turned out to be picnic foods, I knew that my "food" was going to be of the potent liquid variety.

A Surplus of Tapas: Small Bites Across Madrid for (Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

First stop: Mercado de San Miguel. A bit touristy, but worth it. 

Inside the mercado ... so many choices

First tapas in Madrid: cheese, cheese, and more cheese (Not pictured: wine, wine, and more wine)

Given that my last blog post was written entirely in sonnet form, I thought it might be a good idea to give the verbal portion of my brain a bit of a rest and attempt a Wordless Wednesday post summing up the mountains of tapas that Poppa Trix and I consumed in Madrid in just six days.

I say attempt a Wordless Wednesday post because look!  I have already failed at keeping my virtual trap shut ... but I will reign in my wordiness as much as is constitutionally possible. Captions don't count, right?

Salmorejo: A Spanish Soup Recipe in Sonnets

If you have not experienced the intense pleasure of perusing Trevor's haiku posts over at Sis Boom Blog I suggest you do so immediately.  They are quite brilliant, and he really outdid himself for National Haiku Day: He even rendered his entire recipe in haiku form.

To add to the fun, he encourages his readers to leave haiku comments. I am usually glad to oblige, but for Haiku Day I decided to do something a bit different and I left my comment as a sonnet. (Per Sherlock: "Of course I'm showing off. I am a show off. That's what we do.")

And so I thought - why keep my sonnets confined to Trevor's comment section, worthy outlet though  it is?  After all, coming up with some clever prose about every dish I make can feel  a bit ... forced sometimes.

And well, there's nothing contrived or forced about a sonnet recipe is there? I thank you in advance for your indulgence.

Mother's Day Macaron Giveaway from Sucre {Ah, Alliteration}

Like a lot of food bloggers these days, I regularly get requests from publicists asking me to share their respective products with my readers.

"Please review this flavorless processed snack food!"

"I think your readers would love to hear about the latest innovation in microwave dinner technology!"

"Here are some uninspired recipes featuring [insert food product here]. Please share with your readers!"

"We are offering one lucky reader a chance to win this coupon for gum, valued at 25 cents!"

Do a cursory search through the Tasty Trix archives and you'll notice that I invariably ignore these requests. They tend to display a staggering lack of understanding of what I write about, what I cook, and who I am.

But exceptions prove the rule. Case in point: The email I got from Sucre in New Orleans, offering to send  one of my U.S. readers  their signature 15-piece macaron collection in time for Mother's Day.

Well. This was more like it.

Bravas Sauce & Leek Tortilla Pinchos, An Altogether Different Sort of BLT

This month's Creative Culinary Crew challenge, hosted as ever by the lovely and talented Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks, was deceptively simple: Come up with a new version of the classic BLT sandwich. The catch? Participants were forbidden to use bacon, lettuce, or tomato to fulfill the BLT requirement.

Right, then. That's as easy as plugging in any old foodstuff that begins with a B, an L, and a T, yes? Ah, but there's the rub: such a random approach would not only (in my opinion) lead to an uninspired kitchen-sink mess of a sandwich (barnacles, liver, & turmeric, anyone?) it would result in a dish completely lacking in context.

Lisbonese Food Porn: Tiger Prawns, Barnacles, and Sundry Wiggly Things

Rooftops in Lisbon, Portugal

The iconic Lisbon funicular

As I write this, I am sick in bed on a beautiful spring day. I had planned all manner of witty bon mots and profound thoughts about the beauty of Lisbon to share with you in this post  - how I am attracted to spaces that are grand yet crumbling, redolent of faded glory and elegant decay, somewhat melancholy, or (like Iceland) severe and other-worldly.

But I am too tired and instead I will let the photos above speak for themselves, and settle for sharing some food porn with you for a much-needed distraction at the end of a truly awful week in world news.

Portugese Aletejana: A Bold Dish of Pork & Clams

As melodious food pairing names go, "pork and clams" just doesn't have the same ring as, say, "champagne and caviar," "wine and cheese," or even "peanut butter and jelly." But don't be put off.  The poetry on the plate that results when these two ingredients come together in one dish more than makes up for its slightly clunky name.

Cashew Butter & Bacon Soup {Inspired by Goober Peas & African Groundnut Stews}

This month's Creative Cooking Crew Challenge - hosted as ever by the lovely and talented Joan of Foodalogue and Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks - centers around four key ingredients: green apples, bacon, nut butter, and vinegar.  Participants have been tasked with creating any dish they like, using as many or as few ingredients as they please, as long as it  incorporates some version of these four components.

For good or ill, I will cheerfully turn just about anything into soup, and this challenge has done nothing to discourage this propensity of mine. Here I took inspiration from a Southern American dish, goober pea soup, a peanut-based soup eaten by the Confederate Army during the Civil War.  The ancestor of this dish is of course West African groundnut, or peanut stew. Goober is an African word for peanut, an example of the indelible imprint that African ingredients and foods, via the slave trade, made on the cuisine of the American South.

Steak, Pepper & Goat Cheese Crustless Quiche {Brunch, a Plea}

I made a surprising discovery recently while doing some research for my monthly Style recipe column. The concept of brunch, which I had long supposed to be a uniquely American invention, was in fact first mentioned in print 1895 by British author Guy Beringer in the rather melodramatically-titled article "Brunch, A Plea."

He opined, "Instead of England's early Sunday dinner, a post-church ordeal of heavy meats and savory pies, why not a new meal, served around noon, that starts with tea or coffee, marmalade and other breakfast fixtures before moving along to the heavier fare? By eliminating the need to get up early on Sunday, brunch would make life brighter for Saturday-night carousers."

A man after my own heart, this Guy. Naturally, I heartily approve of supplanting the dreary moralizing activity of churchgoing with the life-affirming pursuit of eating, especially when it's undertaken at a civilized hour, like noon. And then there's his wholehearted approval of Saturday night carousing: no puritanical guilt or whiff of self-flagellation for an evening of indulgence here. A laudably healthy attitude.

Another Cauliflower Risotto Post {It's Just Cooking, After All}

As a professional food writer, food blogger,  and sometime paid cook, I believe people generally expect me to be obsessed with cooking shows in general, and cooking competition shows specifically. And I used to be. Sort of.

My original interest in the genre began before I could fry an egg,  back when I was living in NYC and Bobby Flay had not yet sunk his ginger claws into the Iron Chef franchise. (He was instead busy grilling things and using ancho chiles in everything with Jackie Maloof on Food Network.)

Bangers & Mash-Up: A Meat and Potatoes Challenge

Nothing will shake me out of my blogging doldrums like a good old Creative Cooking Crew challenge. This month's challenge, hosted by the fab Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks! and the lovely Joan of Foodalogue,  was as wide open as it gets: We were tasked with creating a dish around the theme of "meat and potatoes."

So. Where to begin? Well, given that I have been on something of a British television kick lately (particularly BBC Sherlock, but as this is a food blog and not a fangirl's Tumblr I will spare you the details) I decided I would look to the traditional cuisine of the U.K. for ideas.

Whiskey, Three Ways: Lovely Booze-y Cocktails for Valentine's Day ... or Anytime

When I was invited by the Four Seasons to participate in their Taste by Four Seasons Valentine's Day virtual cocktail class  it took me about thislong to say "yes!" After all, the featured ingredient was to be whiskey - in this case, Knob Creek Rye Whiskey. And you know me.

Bourbon, whiskey, Scotch ... I love it all, whether neat or in a well crafted cocktail, and given that participants would be learning recipes from three Four Seasons mixologists, I felt confident that these cocktails would be beautifully balanced. I was absolutely correct in that assumption.

Tofu "Bulgogi" and Kimchi Fried Rice {vegetarian}

This is one of those posts where I confess that I have no fascinating story to share with you that relates to the dish I am about to describe. Escapades involving rice, Korean food, tofu, and runny fried eggs neither lurk in my past nor are buried deep in my unconscious.

It's just a good dish, and that is all.

No-Egg Gnocchi with Roasted Garlic Cashew Nut "Cheese" {Vegan}

It's a new year, and the 5 Star Makeover group has undergone a transformation. We have a new logo and name:

As you can see, we're now the Creative Cooking Crew, helmed by Lazaro of Lazaro Cooks and Joan of Foodalogue. Rather than doing makeovers, our mission each month is to create original dishes inspired by a theme.

This month, the challenge was to create a vegan dish inspired by a meat or animal-product-heavy meal. I drew inspiration from one of my very favorite fattening things: gnocchi slathered with plenty of butter and Parmesan cheese.

Creamy Chicken Soup with Parsnips, White Pepper, & Peas {to cure a bad mood}

I've been having one of those weeks. You know the kind - where everything and everyone conspires to  irritate, annoy, and infuriate.

But that's okay, because I have a secret weapon: soup. Yes, soup. We all know the restorative properties of chicken soup, and this version adds even more punch with the addition of a little cream and half and half and a sinus-clearing amount of white pepper.

Each slurp of this soup not only contributed to an increased sense of equanimity and well-being, it gave me strength to (figuratively) vanquish my annoying enemies.

Or maybe that was the booze?

Chicken, Cabbage, & Cashew Stir Fried Rice

Do you really need me to tell you how to make a simple stir fried rice dish I made for dinner one weeknight?

But what the heck - I'll tell you anyway. After all, as my professional recipe development, food and travel writing, and photography obligations grow (I am neither complaining nor humble-bragging - I unabashedly love it!), I find that I have less and less time to make complicated dishes just for fun. Which is what this blog is supposed to be - fun.

Bucatini in Tomato Saffron Cream with Wild Salmon

Pasta and cream. Not exactly a New Year's resolution friendly dish. But that is kind of my point. I am posting this simply because I feel like it.

Let me back up and explain.

I have noticed an off-putting proscriptive tendency creeping into some food blogging lately. Year-end posts have popped up here and there purporting to be the last word on what food blogging should and should not be, and what we bloggers must and must not do.

As snarky as I know I can be, I find these proclamations - even when they claim to be tongue in cheek - a little too self-congratulatory for their own good.